When Living Rich Feels Impossible: My Honest Story About Depression, Grief, and Finding My Way Back
I’m going to be real with you before we even start: this is the most vulnerable post I’ve ever written. My hands hovered over the keyboard for a while on this one. But Rich Out Loud has never just been about the pretty parts of life, and if my story helps even one of you recognize what you’re going through, then it’s worth every uncomfortable word.
When Death Kept Knocking
A few years ago, death plagued my family in a way I still don’t have full words for. In a very short timeframe, I lost siblings, a parent, and a grandparent. Loss after loss after loss, before I could even catch my breath from the last one. On top of that, I moved 1100 miles away to a new state for a job opportunity knowing no one and having no family there.
I didn’t wake up one day and say “I’m depressed.” That’s not how it works. It crept in quietly. I started gaining weight from emotional eating, food became the one comfort I could reach for at 2am. Some days I didn’t want to get out of bed. Some days I couldn’t bring myself to shower, and chile, if you know me, you know that was not me. I found every excuse in the book to skip plans with friends. I’d be fine one minute and crying at random moments the next. And in my darkest stretches, I caught myself wondering if life would just be easier if I wasn’t here.
I need you to know I’m not sharing that last part for shock value. I’m sharing it because thoughts like that can visit even the women who look like they have it all together. If they’ve visited you, you are not broken and you are not alone.
The Conversation That Changed Everything
What saved me wasn’t a grand intervention. It was a close friend casually mentioning that he was going to therapy at the hospital we worked for and explained how it was helping him during his difficult bout with loss. That was it. One honest conversation made getting help feel normal instead of shameful. If it wasn’t for him, I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now.
Therapy worked for me. So did antidepressants. That combination turned my life around, and I will never be embarrassed to say it. And for me personally, getting closer to God and finding a church home is what brought me back to loving myself again. That foundation pushed me to figure out how to get the weight off, start taking care of myself physically and emotionally, and get back to truly living my rich life. Your path back might look different from mine, and that’s okay. The point is that there IS a path back.
How to Recognize You Might Be Slipping
Depression rarely announces itself. Here’s what to watch for, in yourself and in the people you love:
• Your basics start slipping. Showering, brushing your teeth, changing clothes. When hygiene starts feeling like climbing a mountain, pay attention.
• Food becomes a feeling. Eating way more or way less than usual, especially eating to numb rather than nourish.
• The bed becomes a bunker. Not “I love a lazy Sunday” rest, but “I cannot face the day” avoidance.
• You become the queen of cancelled plans. You keep finding reasons, but the real reason is you can’t muster the energy to be a person around people.
• Tears with no invitation. Crying at random moments, sometimes without knowing why.
• Everything feels heavy and nothing feels fun. Things you used to love feel like chores.
• Dark thoughts start whispering. If you’ve thought life would be easier if you weren’t here, that is your sign to reach out for professional help today, not someday.
Gently Pulling Yourself Toward the Light
Notice I said gently. You cannot bully yourself out of depression, I tried. Here’s what actually helped me, plus some fresh ideas beyond the usual “just exercise” advice:
Count your halves. Can’t do a full shower? Sit down in it. Or wash up. Can’t cook? Eat something with protein standing at the counter. Rich girls in survival season count half-wins as whole wins, because they are.
The two-text rule. Before you cancel plans or isolate, text two people something honest, even just “today is heavy.” Isolation is depression’s favorite meal. Don’t feed it in silence.
Sunlight before screens. Before you pick up your phone in the morning, get five minutes of daylight, even from a window. It sounds too simple to matter. It matters.
Say what it actually is. Out loud: “I’m not lazy, I’m depleted.” Naming it correctly changes how you treat yourself.
Know the difference between rest that restores and rest that hides. A real nap, a bath, sitting outside, that’s restoration. Twelve hours of scrolling in a dark room is hiding. Both might be needed some days, but be honest about which one you’re doing.
Borrow someone’s normalcy. You don’t need a deep conversation. Sit in the room while a friend folds laundry. Presence heals even when words can’t.
Let someone’s honesty be your permission slip. My friend mentioning his therapy saved my life. Be that friend for someone, and let someone be that friend for you.
Give Yourself Grace to Rest and Reset
Here’s something I had to learn the hard way: sometimes your body demands the rest your calendar refused to give. Living Rich Out Loud does not mean performing wellness while you’re crumbling. Rich girls rest ON PURPOSE. Schedule grace days before you need them. Let a season be quiet. Resting is not quitting, it’s how you make it to the next chapter.
A Word About Burnout
Can we talk about burnout for a second? Because burnout and depression are cousins, and one often invites the other over. When you run on empty long enough, chasing goals, caregiving, grinding at work, building your dreams, your brain and body eventually send the bill. Burnout can look like cynicism, exhaustion that sleep doesn’t fix, and feeling detached from things you care about. Left unchecked, it can tip into full depression. If your “tired” has lasted months and rest isn’t touching it, that’s not a vibe, that’s a warning light. Take it seriously before your body takes it seriously for you.
You Deserve to Be Here
If you take one thing from this post, take this: getting help is a rich girl move. Therapy, medication, faith, community, whatever combination brings you back to yourself, pursue it without shame. I’m living proof that the woman crying on the bathroom floor and the woman living her richest life can be the same woman, just in different chapters.
Live rich. Love loud. And please, stay. 🫶🏾
-Tiah
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
A note from me to you: I am not a doctor, therapist, or mental health professional. This post is my personal story and general encouragement only, and it is not medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Everyone’s situation is different, so please talk to a licensed mental health professional or your doctor about what’s right for you. If you are in crisis or having thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out right now: in the US, call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or dial 911 in an emergency. If you’re outside the US, contact your local emergency services or crisis line. You matter, and help is real.
