Setting Boundaries Will Make Some People Uncomfortable. Do It Anyway.
Protecting your peace isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.
Saying no creates space for the life you actually want. 💋 - Tiah
I used to think saying “no” required an explanation. Not just a little explanation either. 😂 I needed you to understand why I was saying no, know that I still cared about you, and hopefully agree that my reason was valid. Basically, my “no” needed a whole PowerPoint presentation.
The older I get, the more I realize how exhausting that is. There comes a point when you have to accept that you can be loving, generous and dependable while still deciding that access to you is not unlimited. Your time isn’t unlimited. Your energy isn’t unlimited. Your money isn’t unlimited. And your capacity to carry everybody else’s stuff definitely isn’t unlimited.
Boundaries Aren’t Punishment
Sometimes we hear “boundaries” and imagine cutting people off or becoming cold, but that’s not what a healthy boundary is. A boundary simply says: this is what I am willing to participate in, and this is what I’m not.
You can love someone and not answer every call. You can care about someone and not fix every problem. You can support someone without becoming responsible for them. And you can say no without being angry at anybody.
Here’s the uncomfortable part: when you’re used to being the person who always shows up, always helps and always says yes, people get used to that version of you. So when you start saying no? Whew. 😂 Suddenly you’ve “changed.”
And maybe you have.
Maybe you’ve finally realized that constantly sacrificing your own peace to keep everybody else comfortable isn’t something you want to keep doing. The people who benefited from you having no boundaries may not celebrate when you finally create some. That doesn’t automatically mean you’re doing something wrong.
Your No Doesn’t Need a PowerPoint
I have to give my mom credit here because she is the QUEEN of boundaries. 😂 Watching her set them without all the guilt and over-explaining has taught me to get better at it too, and honestly, life is so much easier because of it.
This might be the biggest lesson for me: “No” is a complete decision even when someone doesn’t understand it.
You don’t always have to explain, convince or keep talking until the other person finally agrees with you. Sometimes it’s simply, I can’t do that. That doesn’t work for me. I’m not available.
And then you let the sentence end.
Girl, that period will set you free. 😂
Protect the Life You’re Building
I’ve realized that boundaries aren’t really about keeping people out. They’re about being intentional with what I allow in.
I’m building a life that has room for peace, joy, rest and the people and things that genuinely matter to me. I can’t build that life while giving everyone unlimited access to my time, energy and emotions. Neither can you.
Setting boundaries might disappoint some people. Let them be disappointed. You are not required to abandon yourself just to make sure nobody else ever feels uncomfortable.
The goal isn’t to become harder. It’s to become clearer.
You can love people and still say no. You can care and still step back. You can be generous and still have limits. You can be a good person and still choose yourself.
Because sometimes living Rich Out Loud isn’t about adding more to your life. Sometimes it’s finally deciding what you’re no longer willing to carry.
Rich Thought
Where in your life are you saying yes because you genuinely want to, and where are you saying yes because you’re afraid of how someone will react if you say no? Let me know I’m the comments.
Now go live your richest life, and we’ll talk soon. 💋
Tiah
